Fate and Circustance...a Personal Reflection of an Unexpected Gift

I was just reading over my posts. Counting them, actually.

This blog was started as a class assignment for my College Composition class. We are required to submit at least one entry per week for the entire duration of the class. I think I'm one or two short, most likely due to some of the recent events in my life lately. This is not about those events.

It's funny, as I read over my original post, the original "Fate and Circumstance", I remembered the original intent of this blog. To entice the readers to share their own stories, both the trivial and seriously life changing stories, and I noticed something. Along the way, I received a few emails and phone calls alerting me to the fact that several people had TRIED to post, but the page just wouldn't accept their replies. I still thanked them and truly appreciated the fact that they tried.

Guess what? Due to a computer glitch, operator error or who knows what, each of you are a part of my current circumstance. As I sit here and think about the original intent of wanting to both share and receive, I see that fate, for some unknown reason, dictated a little differently.

Originally, I thought it would help me feel less insecure posting personal thoughts and experiences by inviting others to join in. It was terrifying opening up for the world to see. My class was never required to share  our blog outside of the classroom but a few months ago a friend posted a little quote on Facebook. It simply read something about accomplishing your dreams. Then a few days later, again on Facebook, I saw a quote made by Eleanor Roosevelt that really inspired me, too. Since I don't have a great memory, I personalized it a bit and turned it into "Do something that scares the hell out of you everyday". Now, I don't mean the play in traffic or stick your tongue in an electrical outlet kind of scary, but something that challenges you personally.

Writing is very personal for me. I've always loved to write but several things have happened over the years that stopped me. You know, the kind of things that make you feel like you played with fire and got burned, the kind of stuff that makes you back off of something because it hurt so bad.

The day that I wrote the first blog, I was in a frenzy of emotion. Writing about Tom, I laughed at memories of him at work, cried at the loss of him and missed his treasured friendship deeply. Thankfulness for knowing him kept me motivated, and seeing him in my mind's eye, throwing up his fist in triumph as he often did, was such a release of emotion for me. He would always say to everyone "do what makes you happy". What sage advice.

As I debated at launching the blog publicly, my finger lingered over the enter button, contemplating whether to send it. Would I face ridicule? Did I sound stupid? Would I offend anyone?

I thought of good old Eleanor Roosevelt. Time to be scared. The theme from "Jaws" rang in my mind...da da, da da, da da, da da da da da da...SEND!

In an instant, I had faced a huge fear and knew there was no turning back. "Well, that's that!" I thought and felt both liberated and worried. Did I do the right thing?

A few hours later, I checked my Facebook. Many familiar names were glaring at me from the screen. John, Nancy T., Steve, Leigh, Christine, Bobbi, Tammy, Beverly A and Beverly W, John, Alexandra, Kathy, Jeff.  Encouraging, kind, and loving comments were written below. "Great job!"" Loved it!" "You made me cry!" were just some of the comments. Several others sent me private emails, sharing how much it touched them to read this tribute to Tom. To say I was overwhelmed and grateful is a sincere understatement.

I have been blessed to have many people from my past and present, new friends and complete strangers email me and post responses to my blog. Several people have stated that the posts have struck a cord with them, made them laugh or made them think. Thank you to each and every one of you who has now become a part of my life, inspired me and helped rediscover my passion for writing. You are all a wonderful, inspiring and appreciated fate to have!